nguni inspired

I love nguni

the most gorgeous cows around!
used them for a bit of inspiration for an art class
the kids and i love a good mess

wearing designers

When your husband get's a wetsuit..... get a dress!

Hubby spoilt himself with a fancy new wetsuit

and although i didn't say a word  "what about me!?"

when we walked past this dress in thespace

we just both loved it immediately

he has really good taste this man of mine...

its a Colleen Eitzen dress, if you follow the link it's the dress with draping in the front and a high collar, i got the black one.

with prize giving and art show season almost upon us, i cant wait to wear this dress and accessories it in a million different ways!

i must make or find a rainbow necklace!

images from flickr

silver lining

i've spent the last few months scared
scared to face hard truths
scared to say out loud that we might never have kids
scared i'm not doing the "right thing" with my art lessons (sometimes their work is just not good)
scared i'm a bad teacher, scared i'm a bad wife
scared to exercise, scared to get off the carb train
scared to laugh or smile
scared to cry
scared to "loose it"
scared i've lost all faith

an now that i am facing all these fears
saying them out loud

little silver linings are popping up

i got good feedback from a surprising source about my kids artwork and my teaching
my boss sent me the message below.... the magnitude of the relevance of this to my life right now is too amazing to comprehend

Psalm 107:9'For He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness.'

- God alone can satisfy the deep longings of your heart.
- The longings of your heart are important to Him.
- He wants to meet you at the point of your need.
- The Lord has good things to satisfy your hunger and longing.

image from here

to blog or not to blog

my almost 34 year old self is not in a good place
we went through the unspeakable pain, doubt and torture that is the first round of IVF
this lady describes it perfectly; it's not an easy read but it's totally accurate: faithfulinfertile
i still cant really talk about it
i have been shaken to my core
and come a bit undone
my thoughts are dark
my desires darker still
and my faith in a puddle at my feet

this weekend dear husband made a little progress is getting "me" back
just by being sweet and loving
he deserves so much more....

so on to the question of the day...
to blog or not to blog?
share my pinterest boards
and use this cyber space to upload, unload download or die
or this quote, from here
i guess we'll see

A week away in JHB! Was absolutely amazing

YIPPIE KI YAY

We had a DIE HARD Valentines Day!

I made cards from these posters with loving words and yummy treats.

'Cos you be my valentine bitch! 

 Will you be my Valentine?

8am-8pm

working three jobs
- swim school 8am - 3pm
-swimming coach at primary school 3pm-7pm
- cook, cleaner, maid.... 8pm or until the chores are done

so far haven't made a cent

and my ears hurt

for what exactly?

for W

so that he cant say i'm lazy, so that I don't have to ask him for things I need, so that I can contribute

but the price I am paying is astronomical

my sanity, health, peace of mind, soundness of soul... they get chipped away at every day

I want to stomp around in the daisies ~ sigh