i've spent the last few months scared
scared to face hard truths
scared to say out loud that we might never have kids
scared i'm not doing the "right thing" with my art lessons (sometimes their work is just not good)
scared i'm a bad teacher, scared i'm a bad wife
scared to exercise, scared to get off the carb train
scared to laugh or smile
scared to cry
scared to "loose it"
scared i've lost all faith
an now that i am facing all these fears
saying them out loud
little silver linings are popping up
i got good feedback from a surprising source about my kids artwork and my teaching
my boss sent me the message below.... the magnitude of the relevance of this to my life right now is too amazing to comprehend
He satisfies the longing soul, and fills the hungry soul with goodness.'
- God alone can
satisfy the deep longings of your heart.
- The longings of your heart are important to Him.
- He wants to meet you at the point of your need.
- The Lord has good things to satisfy your hunger and longing.
my almost 34 year old self is not in a good place
we went through the unspeakable pain, doubt and torture that is the first round of IVF
this lady describes it perfectly; it's not an easy read but it's totally accurate: faithfulinfertile
i still cant really talk about it
i have been shaken to my core
and come a bit undone
my thoughts are dark
my desires darker still
and my faith in a puddle at my feet
this weekend dear husband made a little progress is getting "me" back
just by being sweet and loving
he deserves so much more....
so on to the question of the day...
to blog or not to blog?
share my pinterest boards
and use this cyber space to upload, unload download or die
or this quote, from here
i guess we'll see